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最后,我還是沒能留住你

時間:2017-09-10 來源:原創 作者:一尺素 閱讀:9
  

  文/一尺素qq1550963284/微信號yichisu1997
  
  1/
  
  長亭旁的楓葉長出來了,小小的葉子,卻有著浸染的紅。
  
  我最喜歡紅的楓葉,它妖艷不羈,它與眾不同,它展示了它所有的美。
  
  我們曾一起度過無數個春夏秋冬,幾千個日日夜夜??燒飧?a href="http://www.healthykoo.com/zti/qiutian/index.html" class="keywordlink">秋天,長亭還在,我還在,你卻已經離開。
  
  以前你牽著我的手穿過大街小巷,即使是飄著鵝毛大的寒冬,心里也無比溫暖,你好像是我的太陽,總為我曬掉所有不值一提的悲傷,從此,我只知道,你是我向暖而生的力量。
  
  可如今,晚飯后,戴著耳塞,聽著《可惜不是你》漫步在街頭,耳塞里傳來悲傷的歌聲:
  
  “可惜不是你,陪我到最后。曾一起走卻走失那路口。”
  
  原來一個人默默地走,也可以如此凄涼。
  
  原來,認真聽一首歌,真的會感動到流眼淚。
  
  
  2/
  
  回到家中,習慣了把門反鎖,鑰匙留在門上。以前你出差總吩咐我這樣做,說可以防盜,即使有小偷,也開不了鎖,進不來。那時我覺得你小題大做,不以為然。
  
  可如今,恐懼總猝不及防襲來,悲傷總毫無聲息地聚集,在這冷冰冰的房間里,漫漫長夜,孤獨難眠。
  
  曾經也是在這個房間,我把我們當成了最完美的戀人。所謂完美,就是耳機音量剛好蓋過外界噪音,鬧鐘響起時我剛好自然醒,我愛的人也剛好愛我。
  
  可能是老天看我們太過甜蜜,決定和你我開個小小的玩笑。
  
  這玩笑,一點也不好笑,我們也玩不起。
  
  
  3/
  
  記得那天晚上,我倆正坐著摩天輪,通往最幸福的方向,還沒到最高點,還沒許愿,還沒接吻,醫院打來電話,你爸媽出車禍了。
  
  你瘋了一般,在摩天輪門倉里,像熱鍋上的螞蟻,轉來轉去。所幸,門打不開,真害怕你把門踹爛,跳下去。
  
  看你手足無措的模樣,我的心如針扎般疼痛。
  
  當我們趕到醫院,你媽媽焦急地等在手術室門口,她只是腦震蕩,叔叔還躺在手術室。
  
  醫生說病人度過了危險期,只是依舊處于昏迷,很可能是植物人了。
  
  我從小家庭幸福,沒有嘗試過失去親人的滋味,但我知道,這種從天堂掉入地獄的痛苦比死了還難受。
  
  后來,你總是郁郁寡歡,耷拉著臉,公司和醫院兩頭跑,成了家里的頂梁柱,高昂的醫藥費壓的你喘不過氣來。
  
  我想這一次,換我來做你的太陽吧,為你曬掉所有的悲傷。
  
  我起個大早,熬好湯,去看叔叔,叔叔睡的很安祥,我第一次想把睡著的人叫醒,可惜,我做不到。
  
  從醫院出來,你說:“以后別來了,現在我只想努力賺錢,只盼著我爸早點醒來,看我這個樣子,也沒能力實現對你的承諾了,你值得更好的人去守護。”
  
  那一刻,我從心底里感覺自己沒用。
  
  微博說:
  
  我不會安慰人,但看你難過,我也會不開心。
  
  我知道,你痛苦,看著親人躺在醫院受罪,卻無可奈何,無法替他們承受。你肯定充滿了無力感。
  
  我們終究也回不去了。時光往前走,我們無法回頭,那些幸福的回憶只能拋在腦后。
  
  
  4/
  
  我不知道什么樣的人生是最可怕的,但我知道,當我回頭看,發現我曾經信誓旦旦的一切變成泡影的時候,一定不會好受到哪里去。
  
  你和我分手的那天,只說了一句話,我至今都縈繞在耳邊:
  
  “有些成長,需要千錘百煉;而有些成長,則在一念之間。”
  
  那一刻,我知道,再沒什么理由留住你了。你把精力都放在家庭和工作上,再無想顧及其它。
  
  無論何時何地,我都愿你安好。你是我用力愛過的人,雖然最后沒能在一起,但也只是遺憾,不會后悔。
  
  

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