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不應過早把孩子推入競爭洪流

時間:2016-11-27 作者:普旭 閱讀:9
  

  
  最近在報上看到了有些孩子因學業成績稍微不理想,而受到家長的責怪,或是認為無臉面對家長的圧力而選擇逃避,自我了斷,白白犧牲寶貴生命,實在令人痛心
  
  我們不否認競爭給人們帶來的成就感,能推動社會進步。但是并非任何年齡的人都適宜參加競爭,孩子的生活中就不該有競爭,因為他們還是在發育年齡,思想尚未完成成熟,體內能量本身就很少,競爭消耗精力體力,會影響他們的正常成長。
  
  希望孩子未來有出息,能在社會競爭中勝出,這個目標本身沒錯,但如果認為孩子的競爭意識要從小培養,在年幼時就推動他們參與競爭,這就錯了。
  
  有條件的情況下給孩子一些助推力,即我們常說的要給孩子良好的啟蒙教育,呵護好兒童的好奇心,發展孩子的自由意志,讓孩子有幸福感,這些教育學上恒定的真理,正是發掘兒童內在潛力、成全他未來競爭力的最簡單最重要的手段。
  
  可惜的是,現在,很多家長看不到這些簡單教育要素中深藏的力量,卻更愿意把精力花在一些眼前的競爭事務上。其理由是,社會上競爭大,應該從小培養孩子的競爭意識。這看似長遠的想法,實際上是短見。
  
  有這樣心理的家長,往往自己的攀比心比較重,喜歡給孩子灌輸一些弱肉強食的道理,如平時的測驗比同學多幾分,是否考上了名校,成績排名如何,不僅引導孩子和他人比,更推動孩子和自己較勁,較少關心孩子內在的感受。
  
  當孩子的注意力被轉移到各種“比”的事情上,自我成長就力量開始分散,而競爭帶來的焦慮感又會更多地消耗孩子的精力,導致內心變得越來越羸弱。
  
  有些家長甚至以利誘來鼓勵孩子用功,對孩子做了很多承諾,如成績好便給孩子買大禮物,讓孩子出國遊玩等,但是當孩子的成績不夠理想時,就不想實現過去所答應的諾言。
  
  當孩子覺得自己在某方面達不到家長或學校的要求時,那股壓力把他們壓的喘不過氣,幼小的心靈又得不到親人的諒解與關懷,內心深處憂郁,情緒自然傾向極端而做出不可勉救的舉動。這都是平常過早把孩子推入競爭的洪流,培養孩子視競爭為首要任務的結果。
  
  

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